No matter what’s being forced on you, it sucks. It hurts. You just want to sulk in your pity until there’s none left to sulk in..
I was being forced into abortion by my boyfriend. He wasn’t taking no for an answer. His reasoning was, “I’m only 20. I’m not ready for a child yet. I’m not ready to grow up.”
He threatened suicide if I didn’t abort it, because his future was as well as gone if I had the kid anyhow.
He came over last night and spoke to my mother about it. They convinced me after pools of tears to get an abortion this Wednesday(tomorrow).
So I woke up this morning, sick from crying, sick from eating my sorrows the night before, sick of living.
Why did I feel so terrible?
Well, after looking up how others felt about their abortions, I felt that I might as well just give up. That life would be useless after getting an abortion. That the pain, the feelings, would never go away:
http://www.abortionrecovery.org/Default.aspx?tabid=311
After reading this, I felt that nothing in life would ever matter more to me than the death of that unborn child, not even 2 months born into my stomach yet.
This morning I received the wonderful news that my boyfriend is giving me the chance, per recommendation of his mother, to get a job so that his income isn’t the only one to support the child.
I feel a lot better, but still believe that I’m being set up for failure.
I might never get out of this slump. But, I’m trying to have as much faith as I can in the situation.